The art of writing came from thoughts that are fumbling, finding places to join in like lock-and-key system. Hey..is that in Biology?
Apparently, I have been succumbed in this disease call SAD. It is not that i'm sad, but it is worse than that. More to pathetic. Seasonal Affective Disorder. When I first came here, I can't believe that there is a disease for changes in seasons or disease for winter. Like WTH??? Have you heard that in Malaysia?
Sangatlah pelik keluar kerja gelap, balik kerja pun gelap. Just imagine at 5.00 pm, it's already sunset. Maghrib is around 5.30. I heard from a frined of mine, there's this one old lady, she has to change the paint of her house, in and out. Her depressions is severe. And there's this one case, a lady would just stay at home for 2 weeks and not wanting to do any house chores because of these gloomy days, dead season. WINTER. Some places are snowing now. Has winter arrived? that's so soon.
I am not sure whether am I prepared mentally? Sigh.. Early sunset is so depressing. I hate it. Exams every week make me even more depress. Sitting alone at home make my emotions even worse! Gah, I should have stop complaining. You choose to come here, face it! I am trying! TRYING!
My current sitting place now while typing this is West Lafeyette.. PURDUE West Lafeyette. I spent $20 bucks to come here, to meet my friends. Hopefully, at least it can cure my homesick-ness. Did I just said that I am homesick? Yes I am. Any ideas to cure this? Just imagine I have to face this phase of life for another 2 years.. God, I am scared. I need strength to face this. I am all alone... I just hate being alone at home. I hate it! I think, if I have friends like them in Lafeyette, I won't be like this. Just assuming. They are like family! they are...
Why does everyone seems enjoying their life abroad? I thought I will. I am not sure with myself. Truly, am I enjoying all these? Am I enjoying this life of studying abroad? Am I thinking too much? Gah.. I should stop with all these ridiculous questions.
I want to go home that feels like home. Not a home where darkness is my company, unseen soul, imaginary entities are my company
Entahlah, I can feel something missing. Hard to describe. No words can be put it in.
5 months. Please make your move fast.
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